"I've got a lot of problems with you people!"

In the spirit of Festivus, I thought I would recall the story of how it all began, as told by a Mr. Frank Costanza.

Many Christmases ago,
I went to buy a doll for my son.
I reached for the last one they had,
but so did another man.
As I reigned blows upon him,
I realized there had to be another way!
(Kramer: What happened to the doll?)
It was destroyed.
But out of that, a new holiday was born!
A Festivus for the rest of us!

And that, children, is how Festivus came to be. Happy Festivus, everyone!